When any kind of relationship ends there is understandably a gap. It might be a little gap of a friend who you went to coffee with once a month but now the friendship has wained or it can be a huge mother of all mothers kinda gap that almost stops you actually breathing and you don’t know how to cope from day to day. If it’s the later, I am guessing it might be why you stopped by to read up on how to fill that gap. First, let me reassure you that you will be ok, I promise. Secondly what you are feeling is perfectly natural and I would be more concerned if you didn’t feel the gap. The gap means you had something meaningful in your life. That you shared things and did things together. You were human.
The bodies automatic response, which you probably not even aware you are doing, is to fill that gap quickly because the gap is a scary no man’s land that you don’t know what to do with. You might immediately try and fill it with what was there, the person who you are no longer with. Generally, this isn’t a good idea as you are going back to something that is broken which wouldn’t have magically fixed itself whilst you weren’t looking.
Maybe you rush to find another person to fill the gap with another relationship. Again in most circumstances, it’s avoiding the issues and what was broken in the last relationship will surface again in the new relationship. Meaning you will just go through the heartache all over again.
You might even throw yourself into work, sports, and every single social invite to just keep busy. So far this would be the better choice over the previous two but its still avoiding the issues and you are still just hiding from it all. It will do a loop and come back to you, that I can promise and it will be at the most inopportune moment. You might meet the person you really were supposed to spend the rest of your life with, your soul mate, your true love. How awful if you cock it up by not working through previous self-issues and you lose the chance.
There is also the healthy option, the work through it option where you fill the gap with working on yourself. No don’t worry I haven’t gone all tree hugging on you but you have gone from being part of a couple to being single. That is a huge change. Take the time to get to know the new you. Find your happiness. If you were bending to please the other person in your last relationship your likes will have changed. You might, like me, be a totally different person. Find out what you actually like, not what you have been told for so long you like. You might have suppressed things to fit in. Give those things a shake and see if you like them again. Learn to love yourself again.
I personally feel that when you have been set free from a relationship and you are faced with a gap it is the most wonderful time to do a life audit and find you again.
Fill that gap with you
because you are so worth it
We all naturally bend and wain a little bit in a relationship but it’s not till you are out of it that you realize how much you are bent out of shape. It’s not an overnight thing so give you time to evolve. I know personally that the person I was when my relationship ended is not the person I am now. I don’t look the same, think the same and certainly don’t want the same things. I am still on my journey but it is exciting to find out who the person will be that I involve into.